Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Sterling!

I am reading a book about Sterling, you may have heard of it, it is called Sea Wolf by Jack London. It pits man against man, man against nature, and man against man again. This shit is amazing. So tonight I will drink to Sterling's Honor, which Ben and Adam have none, port of course is the drink of choice for this evenings read. I will be enjoying a Penfolds club reserve tawny Port. It is fairly priced at $13.99. Great stuff beautiful citrus aromas jump out of the glass at you, it glides across you tongue and down into your belly. It is just like Sterling fortified and it burns going down. Sterling I love you,

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Baby Lemonade

Well I have had a crazy day. I worked to many hours, I lost my wallet, and fuck it was cold. Whatever that maybe. I want to start by saying I love everyone of you. That means Sterling< Kevin, Chris, Wiley, Camron, Rory, Riley, Zach, Gordon, Adam, Cody, Ben, Danny?, Brian, Jimmy, and Luckily I cant name you all but you know I fucking love you. We have the best fucking Friends. Nothing compares to the love that all of us have for each other. I know that when all else fails I have you all. Real Talk. I want you all to know I can't name the countless Joys and Knowledge you have brought to my life. I want you all to know that even If I can not be with you this Holiday season, that I love all of you with every bit of my Heart. Yes Homo. Wiley has said it and I will say it, we have the best friends anyone could ask for.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Rory! Come back to "The City". I found us a couple Jobs.

male dancers for men's leather bar in SOMA (SOMA / south beach)
Reply to: info@chapsbarsanfrancisco.com [?]
Date: 2008-12-09, 12:03AM PST


Looking for masculine dancers, more of a butch attitude than a pretty circuit boy. Hairy, meaty, tatts, piercings, muscular, friendly attitude. For Friday 11:30-1:30, Sunday 7:30-9:30. Will be dancing in leather - fetish gear or jocks, boots. Ideally a range in ages & ethnicity, and leather/bdsm/kink friendly. Forward contact information and pictures - head and body shots. Will contact to set up interview.




* Compensation: scale
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 950810476

Monday, December 8, 2008

Wiley

Wilmer you have grown up to be a respectable young man.

Song for Chris

Where have they gone?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Song of the Day # 2

Song of the Day # 2 is for Jimmy. Yep. Jimmy. Not to hang dirty laundry, but I haven't seen you since you moved out. I know we are both busy, but we need to get together and skate. I will never forget being so drunk on Colt 45 and Sparks that I couldn't stand, so we would sit on the floor, in that 110 degree kitchen, and sing this song to Jen, Those times will never be forgotten, you made see New York as playground and not a gnarly concrete jungle that it is.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Song of the Day


Adam may be making a song a day, But I am dedicating a song a day for a week to the friends I miss. Do the math that makes 7. First to get a song..... Camron. I love you buddy. I love you in the only way a straight man can love another straight man with it being so gay it's romantic. You are the only person I know that can make pissing off a entire bar full of people funny. You made wearing glasses awesome. Your the best skateboarder I know, wait that is your brother. Sorry. You are the first person to hop in a car to drive 3 hours just for fast food you can't get around the neighborhood. I would give my left eye for you. It may be a blind eye but I would still give it to you. You could put in a jar and look at it. Sounds cool. I love you. Adam if you think I am ripping off your steez, I am. I love you to wittle buddy. You have a song cumming. I found this photo taken in the future, it is camron his wife and his lovely children. In case you don't know Camron is the one in the back, with the long hair. Duh.Oh by the fucking way Prince wrote this song. So it pretty much beats any song that will be posted after this. Sorry Camron is the fucking best. Someone prove me wrong. I have a feeling you won't, since you can't.

HYPHY MIX OF THE DAY

These fella's know how to party and so did Jeffrey Dahmer. That is why I came up with tonight's Hyphy mix the Arnold Dahmer.
Country time lemonade in the can
Lipton Brisk in the can
E and J VSOP mini bottle or as I call it "King Size Bottle"
a can of Redbull
all on ice
turn on some Remy LeBeau
and Bam HYPHY!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Oh no baby boy just did it again.

I just came up with this...
What you need is
1 E & J Bum Shot
cup of Ice
Put shot on Ice
Fill the rest of the cup with Martinelli Cider
Stir it up
Take a sip
Turn on Mac Dre
Sit Back
Relax
Enjoy
A Hyphy Holiday

Herion is Romantic

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Who's on the couch?

Living in San Francisco is crazy! I come in contact with so many skateboarding "legends", they are usually black out drunk, not skating, and just being all around low life's. I have come home to numerous "names" on my couch, kitchen, roof or just passed out on my floor. This is usually awesome, but sometimes it is kinda gnarly. Which is great if you like crazy stories like I do. Here is one for you kids.... I recently switched rooms with my Roommate, so I'm just chillin with my lady friend in my new room, when I hear a knock at my bedroom door. I open the door to a very intoxicated Mr. Sargent, I won't use a full name, so I say "Oh, Herro Danny",not gotimer, he looks at me and goes "Where is Jay? You guys switched rooms?", I explain the whole story to him, he seems not to notice or care and just tells me jay said he could crash on the couch, sounds logical, so he goes to the couch and I go back to my room, about 4 minutes later I hear this faint knocking sound on my door, weird, I open the door and Danny is like "hey man can I borrow a lighter", so I give him a lighter and tell him to just leave it on the coffee table, I need my lighter for bong hits in the morning, so I go to bed, I wake up the next morning bright and early to go to work, I walk in the living room to get my lighter, sure enough my new roommate is on the couch, I ask him how he slept, he explains that he has being freezing all night, being a good host I set up a space heater, so I am walking out the door when I notice that the window above my front door has being smashed in, there is glass everywhere, I thought it was my neighbors being mad at us and taking revenge, but nope, the story is Danny got up in a drunken stupor, thought he had locked himself out of my house and tried to tap the window above my door with his board to get someones attention, instead it just shattered the window into a million piece's, at some point he realized the door wasn't locked let himself back in and passed out on the couch forgetting what he had done, he slept till 9 the next night, now that is how you party.

This just in.....

Lil Jon has a energy drink. Finally.It of course got mixed with E&J XO. Hyphy. But remember to add Mountain Dew. Mountain D is the quintessential additive to any Hyphy Mix.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Oh Herro!

Oh Chris this is for you. Where ever you may be.engrish-funny-cowboy-engrish
more the engrish!Engrishfunny.com

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I'm Joining a Gym

I hung out with my parents today. First thing my father said to me when I met him at 11 am. "you had a drink yet? When I responded no he instantly bragged about already slamming back two cocktails and that he was on to his third. Long story short my father is a robot. Drinking is his oil it only makes him better at everything, But it makes me feel like this......

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Billy Shotstunged a Stinger

Pencil thin just sent this to me. . .
videoHe thinks he's extreme because he shotgunned a stinger, but that's actually the only way you can drink one. . .so you taste it as little as possible. The shit smells like raid, and tastes like a rusty doorknob that's been pissed on by a hippopottamus that has AIDS. Next time try drinking it slowly and warm, now that's extreme!

Start filming.....

This is the song for the next PMA video........Holy fucking shit. Adam if something this good comes out in hip hop you have to let me know. This is

It's a part in my moustache!

http://www.mustachesummer.com/cookieduster/cookie-6.html

I may not be able to grow sideburns, however, I can barely grow a mustache. So. . . I do. and I will!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Ever wonder what would happen if you played Brighteyes for your child in the womb?

Well wonder no more......

Rory!

I listen to this song and all I can think of is you. I love you.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Top 5 blogs on the either net.........


5.Tree Bar. You don't like to admit it but asshole mike, dirty mike, that motherfucking cocksucking asshole mike or whatever you want to call him, is a funny mother fucker. You never know where he might fuck you. He is fucking black out drunk doing Back nose blunts one second and then the next, dude is married and sober. Fuck me I can't stand it but I can't look away.
4. Murder at The Multiplex. I am sorry this should be Number One. But since I have only met one of the girls and in a near death black out state of consciousness, I got to give it 4th place. Bammas, Dead animals, Viking Style, ROUTE fucking 1!?!, Black out city and if I am correct, my mother is writing this blog! So this is perfect not one flaw.
Now for the real fucking Losers:
3. After Geography. Don't know why I like it, I Don't care why I like either, but I like it. First off what the fuck is up with the title? After Geography? I tell you what I did After Geography... Recess! I killed that shit! Second Problem: Hey wiley Pick up a fucking beer poke a hole in it and drink it like a man!
2. What is Coffee? To be honest after Annie feed our first born son to a wildebeest I thought I would never speak to her again, but I was proven wrong when she set up this blog about how awful her fucking life is. Little Dogs? Love it! Cute Antidotes about Wiley? I love it even more. Bats outside her office window? I Fucking Love it so much I wanna vomit.
And the best blog at the moment is
not
gordon's blog
is
not
ben's blog
nope
not bobby's but close
what I don't think it is
riley or
rory
so
it has
to
be
Murder at
the fu
cking
Multiplex
By the way Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Macky D? where is macky d?

This is a duplicate post but hey enjoy....and 1969

oh this is amazing.....

watch this till you get to the light show, then tell me how much you hate it! just skip to 1:40 for those who cant wait

Skateboarding is so gay!

Skating to work today I realized something....... Skateboarding is gay, really fucking gay.
Why do you join a sport's team in high school? To become popular, go to party's, and of course to fuck sluts.
Why did you start to skate? To meet other dudes that like the same things as you. Gay.
What other sport takes fashion so seriously? Not a one.
How many times have you thought to yourself that dude looks fucking good? Yep that is gay. How many times you seen one of your friends dick? To many times to count.
How many of those dicks skate? Almost all of them. I think that is gay?
I could go on for days but I won't cause I'm already bored of this.... But really I will Rape the shit out of all of you, plus I will skull fuck you the first chance I get. Sweet dreams.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Bus Guess!!!

Alright, The picture is a little dark, however, the options are. . .

He's wearing 18 pairs of sweatpants. . .

or

He's got elephantitis.

Bus Guess!!!

It's time, my friends, for another one of my favorite games. . . BUS GUESS!!! Now the rules are simple, I take pictures on the bus, and you have to guess the correct pick of my 2 suggestions of what is going on in the picture.

Alright, let's begin. . .

Man. . .

or

Woman?

High Society

Laid Back..........

Sunday, October 19, 2008

San Francisco is Hell on Earth.


Today was the worst.......

I woke up next to a beautiful girl
We made fresh Hash Browns
Wait it gets worse

We washed it down with Kombucha
I then met Danny 
Yuck

Danny and I met up with Ganja Will
We did what you would do with a guy named Ganja Will
Appalling

After chasing the dragon
The three of us shredded the streets
I hate the streets almost as much as I hate shredding 



By this point I felt like a sodomized elderly man
What I mean is I was hungry
Typical

I went to my local grocer
I bought organic local vegetables and Fresh salmon
Atrocious garbage

Now I am Listening to Piper at the gates of Dawn
Psychedelic music gives me the shits
Brainless noise

I could go on but you might vomit
Do yourself a favor never come to San Francisco
Nothing but Queers and Junkies

Saturday, October 18, 2008

MY 2008 SUPER STONER TEAM. WHO MADE IT ON?


I was gonna choose 5 people. Then I was gonna choose 9 people. Both times Willy "Bluntz" Lee would have being on the list. If not on the top of the list. I have being hearing a lot of positive things about his love of Jah's greatest gift. It makes me proud.


Brendan, would not have being on any of the list's. I hear he is voting for McCain. No amount of weed can take that taste out of my mouth.


Rory "R2 420" Cocksworth you would have being on both lists. Your uncanny way of getting stoned and curling into a fetal position to watch the Star Wars Trilogy. Priceless. Miss Chloe told me.... your blunt smoking 40 drinking days of San Francisco will return to you when you hit 30. You can't wait, I can't wait, and the world can't wait.


The only person I could think to be deserving enough of this honor is Danny "Got my hand on my Bong cause you know i'm straight tripping" Johnson. Danny is plowing through weed. Imagine Danny is Pac Man and the little yellow dots represent Weed, a lot of weed, and the ghosts, well they represent Sobriety. So Danny is running around life trying not to get by caught by sobriety. But Danny is amazing he never gets caught. Danny I am very proud of you and everything you have accomplished in the weed smoking world.

Friday, October 17, 2008

NOS, MGD 64, KICKFLIP CONTEST, HOT TUB PARTY = JUST ANOTHER DAY IN SAN FRANDISCO

Got to work today and to my surprise I had a little treat waiting for me..... NOS! This shit is crazy. If you like the effects of shooting Meth into your dick while smoking Methadone and being fucked in the ass by a gorilla this is your drink!
Then these three chicks showed up to my work and started pouring this down my throat. So tight, So light. Same Alcohol, Half the Calories, and All the Taste.
Then James challenged me to a Kickflip contest. Duh. I won. First try, Every Try.
Then after the kickflips were landed and the beer started flowing this Hot Tub party broke out. So awesome. Titty City. All and All a great day. Beer, Boobs, and Boards. Now I'm on my way to meet Ben, Danny, Matt, Brian, and Brendan at a house party.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Brendan Ashe's Blog Post List October!


Every Post title could double as a Snuff Film or a Teen Movie! Good Job Brendan! Neato!

10-15-08. BDE. Best Day Ever.


Woke up
Throw up Blood (not jokin)
Took a Few Bong Hits
Went back to sleep
Gordon woke me up
Got Breakfast with Gordon
Had a Reuben for Breakfast. Epic
Went to Gordon's Skateshop
Watched the Gonz's Secert part in Krooked Kronichles
Got Scratch off Tickets with Gordon
Went to Gordon's Apt
Both of us Lost money on Scratch off Tickets
Got a New Pair of Shoes
Went to KP's House
Watched Gordon pack for San Diego
Laid in KP's Bed. So Tight
Got High Again
Did Powerslide's down a Asphalt Mountain
Went to Jack in The Box with Gordon.
Got Fat
Read Transworld
Hit on 15 yr old latin girls. One was Pregnant
Went Home
Trimmed Pot
Made Keif
Named It Keif Richards
Got Stoned off Keif Richards
Went to 1361 Kansas
Met Danny and Ben at the Corner Store
Bought Colt 45
Got to 1361
Drank my Colt's
Smoked a Ciggypoo
Drank scotch
Smoked a Ciggypoo
Drank more Scotch
Smoked a Ciggypoo
Drank more and more Scotch
Watched Project Runway. Amazing
Got Danny Stoned
Drank More Scotch
Got Danny Stoned
Drank More Scotch
Told Danny I think he is Great
Skated Home. To Drunk 2 Walk
Got Naked as Africa
Went to Sleep
Thank you to everyone who made yesterday amazing. You know who you are.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Sunday, October 5, 2008

You're dangerous and foolish, Maverick, and that makes you dangerous!


Just a little idea I had while watching the VP debate. You can be my wingman anyday

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Willy circa 1986

I was at the national records the other day just browsing some of the older yearbooks and came across this little gem. I never knew that Billy rode the short bus, but now that I do, I'll try to be a little bit nicer to him.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Stung!

Banging out a Mickey's Stinger preparty time. Mickey's wanted to name this malt beverage, the Fang. Rattler's lawyer said.... "Fuck you Mickey's we got the rights to that shit". Party Blogs never Die!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

While looking for Boobs at work, James found a Bob instead.

For those of you that don't know http://Lastnightsparty.com is the place to go to look for chicks you might have slept with in the time you lived in NYC or to look at non incriminating photo's of topless women while you work. Neither one of those things happened, just found this ugly mug.