Friday, February 27, 2009

Matt Lowe

I moved into Matt's room a month ago. Shit is starting to get weird.

Look at this photo. Now tell me, which one is Matt and which one is me.
Weird? Can't figure it out, right?

I got to worrying when I started raising chickens on the porch. But this shit is out of control, I cant stop quoting The Grapes of Wrath.

"Is a tractor bad? Is the power that turns the long furrows wrong? If this tractor were ours, it would be good - not mine, but ours. We could love that tractor then as we have loved this land when it was ours. But this tractor does two things - it turns the land and turns us off the land. There is little difference between this tractor and a tank. The people were driven, intimidated, hurt by both. We must think about this."

Lame. Gay. It sucked. I hated it. Boring.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ringo is Killing the Game!

Download this Album! Wiley you will love this shit. It is so tight! Ringo thinks he is the love child of Nancy Sinatra and Woody Guthrie. No joke, this is so good.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

What If?

What if George Burns and James Dean had a baby?

It would look like this.......

Monday, February 16, 2009

Steppers to the Floor!

I am working 12 hours today. It's Raining. Brian Williams thinks I'm to blame for his male pattern baldness. It was looking down until I remembered R Kelly. Kells cures all ill, You got a cut? Rub some Kells on it. You hungover? Get some Kells. Got baby mama drama? Kells will fix it. You got a baby's mama? Kells will get rid of her. This album will cure your woes.


My alter ego Mr. Nick Cave covering Mr. Neil Young.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Got Hitched!

You buy me a heart shaped pizza and you are gonna get wed. End of story.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Holy Shit, this is so good

So a walk into work a hour a half late, I am higher than old man Ashe on 420. Baked. Twisted. Blunted! So here I am in the DVZ and I got the munchies. Big time, my man. When a Pizza guy walks in with a Pizza. Crazy, he says it's for Billy. Must be a mistake, I wish I ordered a pizza. Make no mistake this pizza was meant for my belly. My beautiful girlfriend surprised my belly and me. I love you Baby, your the best. Riley I wish you the best in finding a woman who appreciates you for the fat boy you are. Happy Valentines Day!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

RIP Marilyn Hartmann. You were True Blue and Charcoal Filtered for smoothness.

My dear friend Marilyn Hartmann passed away. She was amazing! She smoked True Blue cigs, she loved handles of Smirnoff Vodka. She could have being anywhere between the age of 25 to about 125. Probably 72. We once got her to buy a pack of American Spirits cause we didn't have her True Blue, she came back the next day and told us "you can give um back to the Indians. I loved her. She will be missed. I am dealing with the loss the way a real man would, I am drinking a handle of Smirnoff, smoking a carton of True Blues and Listening to the run away album of 1996 Skee Lo's "I wish"

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My two favorite videos when I was 6

I feel bad for the kids today. Where is old MTV, I would even take old VH1 over the shit of today. I was lucky enough to start watching MTV when I was six. My parents had just split up, so we moved in with BUD and my older sister Kerry. Well long story short my parents were to busy doing it, yeah Buck, to know their kids were being changed forever by mtv. Cody's favorite band was Bon Jovi. Sick. But I was into deeper shit than sappy love songs. I loved 'I got my mind set on you' not because of the legacy of George Harrison, no I liked talking animals and this video had it. With 'touch of gray' I had no Idea who Bobby Weir was or that Jerry would visit me in hallucinations. No. I loved it when that dog came and took Mickey Hart's leg. That shit use to kill me when I was kid. So Danny and Julie when you have that little bambino in 8 months, let it watch TV or it will be a faggot and have no friends.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I am obsessed with this shit....

Top four Swiffer commercials

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Bens New Girlfriend!

Here is how today is going...
First. Woke up. Walked next door to Ben's Room.
Second. Went to Saint Francis.
Third. Shit got weird.
Ben's girlfriend showed up. This bitch was tripping. No Joke. Insane-o. Shit got awkward when she just sat down at our table. She was a reader, she kept referencing Candide, something about getting her butt cheeks caught off, she also takes pills that make her Poo Poo. Gross. But she was concerned about my hair, she thought Ben's hair was cute and that mine was Dirty. Bitch! Then she started talking about how she was sick and she wasn't safe to be around. Yikes. But then Cairo Foster showed up, Ben's girl wasn't seen after that. Thanks Cairo, I owe you, I will send you a Free RVCA shirt.Now I'm listening to my favorite Tranny Band, Hercules and The Love Affair and Drinking Grape Cisco. All you need is a couple sips.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Bacon chocolate! Ha! Get real. No joke, Danny I am gonna knock your teeth out this shit is so good.
So you like sledding? Oh wait it doesn't snow year round? Fuck it! Just get cardboard and go to The Disney Land that is San Francisco and Sled year round.
I thought San Francisco sucked for a second, but then I remember they have adult slides and bacon chocolate. Get out of here. No way. Really? Best life ever.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Is this Gay?

Nope. Just two boys playing ball. One pitching one catching.