Saturday, October 31, 2009

Paul Kantner

This is for Paul Kantner, if you are not Paul Kantner please Don't read this, it is not meant for you.

Hey Paul,

Hows Life? Awesome, look I'm gonna cut to the chase, lets get together and smoke a Joint. Just let me know when your free, maybe the next time you come into The Jug we can dip out and take a ride.


Ps. I we don't have to tell Stephen Jenkins or the dudes from Stroke 9, but I think Bill Cosby and Natalie Portman will be pissed if we don't include them.

Friday, October 30, 2009

I just bought a Merkin for Halloween

Oh you don't know what a Merkin is, well look it up

Now that Adam is going to Dirty Projectors

The Internet will now let me go to the show. Thanks Adam!!!!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Dirty Projectors

Dirty Projectors sold out the San Francisco show

If Adam Can't see them, I can't see them.

Bearataur, a collaboration of everything that is awesome.

I have a idea, does everyone remember how much fun getting drunk at Camron's house was? We would make music, we would make collages, we painted dicks on the wall, and Zach threw crackers.
I might be blending eras, but fuck it I want a coast to coast Collaboration, Danny and I are working on ideas for a film, well to be honest Danny told me to come up with a idea and he would make it. Well I want to take it one step further, I want everyone in on this, We can film it all over the country on different cameras and make one epic saga. It will be amazing!

Here is how I want it to start:
I meet Elvis in a Tuscon hotel, He tricks me into taking his place in "heaven" so he can have my spot in hell.

Elvis would have gone to Hell, but god is a real big Elvis fan, so Elvis is stuck in Heaven a prisoner of some awful tyrant. See heaven isn't all that awesome, all the best party's are in hell, Elvis wants to party, so he tricks me.

So all of this could be complete bull shit, but I would like people to expand upon this idea and then we all can expand upon those Ideas and so on. I want it to be loosely based on Bob Dylan seeing god in a Arizona motel, Dantes inferno, Goethe Faust, the 1919 world series, The Hills, East bound and Down, Astral weeks, and cheech and chongs up in smoke.

If you don't get it, or you just wanna be a Hater, go right ahead, but when those royalty checks come in the mail, see who's hating then.

This is open to EVERYONE! I really need Chris's thoughts and Wiley's thoughts, Ben I of course need you in on this, Rory duh, anyone in 29 please contribute, if you think I'm joking, Fuck you.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Check the Trife

rattler Halloween, you thought the fire 1906 was gnarly, I think the fire of 09, is gonna be worse. I smell a great white joke? To soon?

check the Trife

I can't wear skinny jeans...

because I'm too my dick.

Brendan Ash


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Monday, October 26, 2009

Belle and Sebastian New Album

Mikey Grande quote of the day

"You know what, Jesus Loves you Martin, but I frankly think your a asshole."



I love you, come to San Francisco, don't worry I won't tell Ben.

Christmas come early

Billy, I got your grandma's Christmas card the other day. It was addressed to you, I guess even she thinks we look alike. She said that the bong and the bottle of rum were supposed to be your presents, but she became too attached to them. So, instead, she sent that raccoon sweatshirt. It smells like ben gay and black licorice. I'm keeping it.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009


What is this supposed to mean?

-you are dating billy=you are insane

Please explain

Thursday, October 22, 2009

New Raekwon Album

What has the chef cooked up this time?
I don't know but, I am so fucking siked, i could pull a Daniel Boone.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Gary Oldman The Soothsayer

Jesus Christ! Billy, I don't know if I should slap you for being such an asshole for being so insensitive, or line up to rub your mustache in hopes of gaining some of your clairvoyant powers! Either way, Pat Swayze rocked the roundhouse in Roadhouse. And Billy is very sorry for playing a character in a movie who uses a tasteless joke to try to get laid.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ladies and Gentleman, Mikey Grande

Very rarely does a man of this caliber allow someone to take photos of him.
When Grande is in the room it has to be a party, but whatever you do, don't fake the funk.

And when you ride the muni with him, it turns into the magic school bus when he busts out the brandy bum shots!

One bum shot and that fucking bus turns into space mountain.

The only requirements for this ride are A. you must grow a mustache B. you must love cheap brandy C. You must Drink till you fall backwards D. You must Knock a hole in it

Devendra Banhart's new album

I just listened to it, I think it is really good.

Dear Devendra,

I am sorry I was dick to Natalie, but you know how I get, I hate rich white people, plus you knew she had it coming, you broke up with her when you heard I was rude to her, thanks but no thanks. You two were cute together.

Love Billy

Ps, While listening to your album for a second time in a row, I was told that I look like Gary Oldman

I think that is pretty radd, they over looked your music and only saw my good looks. Sorry, but better luck next album.

Pss, I still think it is really good. Thanks again.

I had dinner with a famous person!

You are never gonna believe this, but I had Dinner with the person who the "anti" Kramer from the "Bizzaro world" episode of Seinfeld is based on, yeah I know it is fucking nuts!!!!!!!!! He was Radd as fuck, I don't remember his name, I think it was Jerry, but his last name escapes me at the moment.
He bought my friends and I pizza, duh, he's rich as fuck! It got a little weird, he told me that he had a son, but he didn't like him very much, he asked me if I would be his son, I refused, I already have two dad's, three would just be to much. In the end I was far to drunk to hang out and left. Thanks you Jerry, you were a great host, sorry about your Son.

Gordon Eckler's Blog

Is, you should already know that, but if you didn't, you now know.
Thank you.


Wiley call Gordon, he talks about you constantly. He misses you.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Just when I thought life couldn't get any more awesome..........

I hear this on the radio, there is a, I wish I was joking.

I don't think anyone remembers this, but back in the day Solid State had a giant card board cut out of Mariah Carey. One day I called them out on it, Chris Janz told me it was my loss if I didn't get Mariah Carey, he was right. Now it is your loss. Deal with it. Thank you Chris, you showed me what love is.

Music sounds so good on a rainy day!

It started raining frogs... so I started off with this

Then the rain eased up a little bit

then the rain stopped

Then I went in the cooler and chugged a beer!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

John Steinbeck's The Pearl

I payed 25 cents for this book, it was fucking awesome. Steinbeck is a mans man, yet he has a real compassion for the people that were here first, but he will smack a bitch. One thing I really liked was the theme of music runs throughout the book. The music of Family, The music of Evil, The music of the pearl, and so on, all inside the head of the main character, it reminded me of chief in One flew over the cuckoo's nest.

Now I am gonna read Mother Night. Vonnegut, you cock sucker, this book better have something going on in it. Before everyone gets offended and says I'm a asshole and who am i to say he is a boring writer, just let me state my point, Slaughter house Five was fucking amazing and cats cradle was awesome, but the buck stops there, Breakfast of Champions was disappointing, admit it, Blue Beard was okay, and thank you mr. Rosewater was aight. All I am saying is Cat's Cradle and Slaughter House were so good there has to be other works close to that good, I just don't want to wade through a sea of shit to find them.

Sorry to anyone who had to read that, I really don't like reading or learning, I am a party animal who thinks Nerds suck and they should be stuck in lockers, be given wedgies and made to feel as insecure as I do.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Sorry if this isn't funny, but

I bought these 3 books on the street today, 75 cents total. If this is uncool or boring, fuck you, Bo knows books!

Just got this on the inner office messaging system

Hey man,
just to let you know, I'll be in the cooler chugging beers. Have fun ringing up douchebags and punching your clown.


This is why he wins the Geno

Remy L.

Los Angeles, CA
5 star rating

I love the Jug Shop for it's excellent selection and knowledgeable staff.

I came in a week ago with the casual desire of getting a bottle or two for a dinner party I was hosting. I asked one of the employees for help and I am very glad I did. The employee's name was Billy and he was very courteous in working through exactly what kind of wine I was looking for and how much I was interested in spending.

To put a long story short, both of the bottles he recommended were a huge hit at the party.

Thanks Jug Shop & thanks Billy, you've got a customer for life!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Will sent this to me on Facebook

WhatuuUuUuUp?! We're having a double skate vid premiere at my house on Saturday night starting at 9. You should definitely come by if you're interested. The first video is a historical video of early 90s mission skating and the other is an sf homies vid. People should start coming by around 8 and we'll start the vid around 9. Hope you can make it! Please spread the word to Gordon and Ethan if you can as well. My place is at 736 Arkansas between Madera and 22nd. Siiiiiick!

-- Will

I didn't add anything to this.... Will is just that awesome.

Ben, you know.


Hey, Antarctica!

Look at our blog or we swear to fucking god we will stop recycling!Thanks, James and Billy

Hey North Korea

Look at our Blog! We're talking to you Kim Jong!Thanks, Billy and James

Primus and The Presidents of the United States of America

I spent the day in SOMA, it reminded me of the nineties and how awesome bleached hair on dudes is. So as soon as I got to work, I listened to The Wizzard's greatest hits, then The Presidents and now I am listening to sailing the seas of cheese. The only thing left to listen to is the Crash Test Dummies. Dare I?I didn't know Camron was the lead singer.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Good Bourbon, Good Beer, Goodbye

Congratulations Billy! You are the winner of the Geno!

Monkey Business on a Sunny Afternoon

I just heard this song while I was watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, and I had to share it… because it's sexy…

The amazing lyrics make me feel like I'm not the only one swinging from vine-to-vine in this urban jungle.

I need to learm how to play music.

Dear Friends,

While reading Frankenstein, I realized I need to learn how to play a musical instrument.

Why you ask?

There is a ol' man in the book who is blind. He isn't to effected by it because he has his kids and his guitar. It is a awesome idea to me that without sight you still have music.

I just don't want to be caught out in the dark, if you know what I mean. Plus I could have a really awesome blues name, you know I would be making blues music. I like the ring of Blind Billy Rosser, but I think Adam's favorite will be Blind Billy Bartlett, which sounds awesome.

Now I don't think I am gonna go blind soon, maybe never, but it is a real possibility.
Sorry if I just bummed you out. Here is a puppy doing something awesome. It will make you feel better if you are sad.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I heart Dance Parties!

The world needs more of this:

Doesn't it just make your heart happy?

It's hammer time

So, this guy just came in the store...and I am so happy that we caught it on the security cameras. I know it's a long clip, if you can't stand it, at least watch the end, jump to 8:17.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


they aren't just my favorite food

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I hate everything

working sunday mornings is the worst

Friday, October 9, 2009

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Is it me or does the guy on the right look like Jimmy?


a Couple of Questions

Do you Wanna Party?

Do you Wanna Dance?

Sorry Soccerdude

There is a new movie sheriff in town, it's me.

I saw 3 movies last night.


I watched the new Drew Barrymore movie, Whip it.
First off Drew Barrymore is a angel; She can do no wrong. I laughed, I cried, and I laughed again.

Just look at the list of stars in this film.

Harmar Superstar, Jimmy Fallon, Eve, Drew Barrymore, Maybe from Arrested development, Andrew Wilson, Owen and luke Wilson's brother, Ellen Page the girl from Juno, Daniel Stern the Burglar from Home alone and many more.
They had the best derby names, my favorite has to be Java the Slut. Priceless.
Did I mention I cried?

Second Movie

We live in Public.

It is done by the chick that did Digg. It is fucking nutts. I don't want to give anything away, but it was bonkers. Wait for it to come on Net Flix, unless you live in a city like San Francisco, then just go watch it at the Roxie.

Third and Final movie

Heavy metal parkinglot
Holy shit! This made me miss home. Filmed at the Cap Center at the same time I moved to Bowie, Maryland. I know alot of you have seen this film, but watch it again. Why do people from maryland sound like that?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

This is the new upper half of my Canadian Tuxedo

Ben didn't fuck anyone.

It was just a goof, a joke or a gag. It wasn't funny. I apologize, for Christ's sake. Ben I'm sorry.

Monday, October 5, 2009

I got crabs!

Morgan got back into town today. I brought home crabs. We hippie danced in bed to an eleven minute version of "Shake down Street". Life is good.

Sara. it really saddens me to tell you I saw Ben leave the Blue Grass Festival with another woman. I didn't get a good look at her, but a witness gave a good description. The police came up with this sketch. Good luck.

Welcome to Feldman Fucked Her!

You're about to get fucked!

Someone put this on at my work........

Scared the squares straight out their minds.This was made back when music had balls.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Quote of the Day part 2

"I went to college..... for the month of February, the class of February." Mikey Grande

Quote of the Day

"Either I am coming down with the swine flu or I have the worst hangover ever." Mikey Grande

Thursday, October 1, 2009

My Dick just caught on fire

and I got a Job! Rory is paying me $2,000 to put flyers up for "THE RATTLER in SAN FRANCISCO" if I sell out the show, I will get a extra grand. Life is good.