Monday, May 31, 2010

Da Boss

You can't beat this album. I dare you to try.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Thursday, May 27, 2010

the east is hot right now

or is it ICEE?
Sorry Fred, Karl and Sam, Dev Child is killing the ice game. Also, Dev Child is murdering the hair game. I have a picture of Dev Child on my mirror. Every day when I comb my hair or pull back my pony tail, my hair see what perfect hair is all about. Thank you Devon, your a hair God. Good night world, I'm gonna go slam Smirnoff Ice and wait for Rory to show up. See you soon motherfucker!!!

Monday, May 24, 2010

my parents

 
taking it easy

Happy Birthday Bob

 Happy birthday you motherfucker. 

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Is this mean?

Is that Brian?   Morgan said my new blog idea is terrible and not funny.  Could you please let me know what you think?  Think of it more as a homage to the most handsome man in the world, and his millions of imitators, than a cruel joke. I love you, like most of my jokes this is probably just mean and not funny, if so I am sorry. Really sorry.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

What the fuck!!!!!

We can clone sheep, but we can't stop a oil leak. What the fuck?
Ok, ok, so we can grow a human ear on a hideous rat thing, but we can't stop millions of gallons of oil from flowing into the Gulf of Mexico. Why the fuck not?

"competive little cox''

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Just got my NY Times sent to my house

It is the best 30 bucks I have spent in a long time. First article in Dining Out: The New York Times makes the Discovery that Food tastes better when you're stoned

Sorry Ben and Danny, I am keeping it for myself. Get your own damn crossword puzzles.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Drunk People

It is 10:00 am, I have helped 5 people in my store, 4 of them have been drinking for hours!!!! The last guy that came in was flying fucking high, This is our Conversation........

Me: Whaaaaat Up?
Drunk Dude: How much for the 40
(see what a classy joint I work at? We only have one type of 40. MGD and it isn't even malt liqour.)
Me: 2.99
D D: You COOL?
Me: Yeah, why whats up?
D D: I'm trying to get right..... (I of course think this means he is trying to fuck, so I just nod and look Irie)....
D D: Where is the closest bus back to the Mission?
Me: the 49 is a block that way
D D: I have been drinking all day, but I sobered up. (it's 10:00 in the fucking morning)
Me:  Tight
D D: Yeah, I saw this sexy ass squirrel.
he  laughs like a little girl and leaves.
 WTF, is this a missed connection?

Monday, May 17, 2010

WIley you're right

I'm so sorry Brendan and Rachel, sorry for the late post, but congratulations!!! Your baby is sooooooooooo fucking cute. Really, I'm not joking, I didn't know babies could open their eyes and be that adorable at two days old. Which brings up what I really want to talk about: Billy Rosser's guide to Parenting........

1. As with anything, Fashion over Function.
Your baby is a Fashion statement, make that baby look good. A couple things to think about in baby fashion are: Does my baby smoke? Is my Baby a bad ass baby or a lame non fun baby? Does my baby want Tattoos or Piercings?

2. Money
Babies are expensive, but they are also valuable. Don't sell that baby to the first person that offers you $20 and a ride to the border. Make baby, make money! Modeling, Acting, Running Numbers, etc, etc, etc.

3.Build the Baby's Tolerance to drugs and alcohol.
Remember no one wants to be a stay-at-home parent, so take that baby to the bar!!!!

Brendan

where is Brendan?

Hindu Kush

While reading the Sunday Post, i realized the real reason we are in Afghanistan....... That Hindu Kush.

The world's ugliest man died today

Take that you holy diving motherfucker, but seriously is Dio related to Frank Reynolds? Is Dio Frank Reynolds Brother? Is Dio Sweet Dee's Father? Is Dio Frank Reynolds? Is Dio in Danny Devito? Is that the spin on the next season of  Always Sunny in Philadelphia?RIP Dio

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Gordon Eckler


he's a good dude, loves his mama
Loves Seger and America too
he's a good dude, crazy 'bout Porkchop
Loves forensic files and his Yuengling too

Ethan video

My old roommate Ethan made this, it is fucking amazing!

Blood Wizard promo out soon May 15th from Blood Wizard on Vimeo.

Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner before noon

For Breakfast I had.....

A bowl of cheerios.
A 800 milligram Ibuprofen.
A 1/2 a Vicodin.
A Joint.

For Lunch....

2 Bud Lites
1 $20 mimosa

For Dinner....
A large Cheese steak
A side of fries

For dessert....

A wake

All before noon

"Life's been good to me"

Friday, May 14, 2010

Hey Ben

Lost weekend called. You never returned Horse Fucker III. Dude return your fucking movie and remember "No money, No Honey"

And I...

am feeling the shit out of this song right now

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Sara

Maybe it's the pain pills, but I am feeling the shit out of these songs right now

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Hank Chinaski, I'm coming for you motherfucker!!!!!

I just bought Post Office, Hollywood, Factotum, and The Most Beautiful Woman in Town. I'm just seeing how the other half lives.

Happy Mothers Day

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

my new kids' show













Premise: I chill with Muppet Billy getting hammered and teaching the world to love.

Monday, May 3, 2010