Monday, August 31, 2009

Stay Gold

I have gotten to meet so many awesome people in San francisco, one of them people is Benny Gold's Dog Levi. This fucking Dawg is so awesome. I had breakfast with Benny, Ethan (my roommate) and Benny's dog Levi a month ago. Benny Gold is the nicest dude and super talented, but his dog takes the fucking cake. Look at this fucker.

The father of acid rock

I am blasting the mad cap laughs. I have offered every person that has walked up to the counter a free bottle of wine if they can name the album or the artist. No one has come close. The kinks was the best guess.

You are what you eat?

Fuck you science. I think I might stop eating meat, but vegetables are being fucked with as much if not more than meat. What can I do? ps I think weed has being genetically modified, it wasn't always this good.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Better than beer part 4

This one I stand by. I said it. Fuck you.

Better than beer part 3

China Fun is not better than beer. China White on the other hand............

Better than beer Part 2

Murder at the Multiplex is the best blog on the internet, hands down. If you don't believe me just look at it.

Still not convinced?

Well fuck you! You suck and your fucking ugly and dumb.

Better than beer

Not Really, but pretty close.

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Tell me why people wear cowboy hats?Dear God.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Just the boys making noise

Baby DannyBig Bill


He is gonna rip your fucking throat out.

I Dont want to Jinx this

But, I might get a job working at the Ritz Carlton Residence, NBD I know the wine buyer and they are looking for help. Cross your fingers, Daddy needs to pay his rent.

Hot Gossip

San Francisco and the rest of the world are ablaze with buzz after a Sex Tape was released yesterday. After many months of disputes about if Julie and Danny have ever really had Sex, a sex tape has been released. Many people see it as a publicity stunt to beat back allegations that they are not a real couple, but just another Michael and Lisa Marie. Take a look for yourself, but beware it is graphic.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Better than Babar

My Kids will watch this movie every day until they are old enough to choose something else. This will give them a educated view of the world.

Mystery just bought Hpnotiq from me

He bought a bum shot of Hpnotiq and a pack of Newports, real edgey.

Something has to be done

Annie your blog is shiting the bed. Two months ago there was talk about your blog being "The Best Blog Ever" now it isn't even talked about. What the fuck is there to talk about?

Wiley on the other hand you must have stolen Annie's blog powers. Your shit is on fire. Danny at acme, WOW! That photo of some dude and Gwynne, so crazy.

Ben your blog is world famous and amazing

Danny your have the best blog in the world. Don't change it, it is perfect just the way it is.

But annie your little brothers blog, scrisbee is really good. No creepo but that shit is super funny.

When is Chance gonna get a blog?

all my friends are huge dicks

Oh wait I'm sorry I meant to say they have huge dicks.
Example A. Ben spray paints his dick silver and uses it as a kick stand.
Example B. Wiley saved a woman from drowning in Sterling's Muddy Creek, he lassoed her with his dick
Example C. Instead of Knee Surgery the doctors just cut off Rory's leg and put a fake knee in his dick, he can walk fine now.
Example D. Gordon has to have sex in the hallway, his bedroom is just not big enough for him and his dick
Example E. Sterling had to move New Mexico so his dick could stretch out.
Example F. Camron has a huge dick. He gets upset when you bring it up.
Example G. When Chris flys he has to get a second seat for his dick
Example H. Kevin once impregnated a woman in china. He was sitting on his couch.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Danny saved a lady's life

Danny aka Good Citizen of the world saved a woman from drowning in her own vomit. True story, he then gave her a hand job or she gave him a hand job, one of the two. Any ways Dan Dan is smoking a winners cig as we speak.

Bela Shayevich

I have seen "Bela" preform twice now, you think at least one of those times she would say, hi. NO! This success as "Tune-Yards", Turd Yards if you ask me, is going to her stupid head. Hey, Bela I knew you when you weren't a popular club attraction, you still smell like Perogies. To think we are married on Facebook. Fuck off.


Thursday, August 20, 2009


Fleetwood Mac!

Birthday Boy!

On this day, many years ago, Danny was born a hideous beast. Danny, like most of hell's creations, was born hungry and devoured his birth family. He was later adopted by human parents and giving a good home and a private school education. Danny still carries the sign of the beast, a uncircumcised penis. Danny is a horrible person and he is a bad friend, but I still love him. Happy Birthday Danny.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The View

Since I haven't had Ben or Danny to get me drunk and Rick aka James Franco is out in Tahoe doing baby training, I have eased into a life of domestic bliss with little drinking, no red meat, lots of cigarettes and a early bedtime. But on the Bright side I have being getting up early, which doesn't mean I am doing anything creative, I'm just watching shit AM television. Have you seen the View? It is just Whoopi Goldberg drunk and acting confused. It is fucking awesome. I think I might start a drinking game for The View every time Whoopi looks lost, you drink. Every time she tells the conservative white bitch that she sucks you drink. After every time they do a bit about anxiety you take a Xanax. The list goes on and on.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Searching for Bloggy Fischer

Tyler, bring that shit back.

Disco sucks

I don't know if I agree with this. What is wrong with Disco? It looked awesome as fuck. Who doesn't like Quaaludes and dancing? I personally love the combination. I mean not anymore. Not since last Wednesday. But that isn't what I'm talking about, I am talking about the Bee Gees and Donna Summers, that is my shit.

My blog cures cancer

what does your stupid blog do?

I cry when I eat

.........It is just so beautiful

No one comments on Blogs anymore

Why the fuck not?

Monday, August 17, 2009

Gordon Eckler!

Gordon sold his scooter to buy a Buick.

Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, and The Beastie Boys

What the fuck is wrong with the people that are putting on this Outside Lands Festival? Am I wrong or is it 2009, not 1999? How the fuck is a band like Pearl Jam still headlining Shows? Look at the fourth band, Fuckin INCUBUS! WHAT THE FUCK! Is this a joke? Where is Everclear, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, 311, Marcys Playground and 3rd eye blind I think they are available, why didn't they get a call? They must not suck hard enough. At least Dave Matthews Band will be headlining, that is some real star power, GO FUCK YOURSELF. Yo, Beastie Boys great to see you can still do it at 50, but hang it up.

Hey, Ben Foldman

Hey Benny, I was gonna tell your girlfriend that I thought she was stupid and ugly, but then she did something amazing, she pulled a beer out of her pocket in a bar and poured into a empty beer glass. What I mean to say is she sneaks beers into bars, that is my SHIT! She was walking around drinking beer on the street with no bag and no worries of anyone saying anything, WTF, I do that, cause that is my shit. She went home with like 10 swollen Latino guys in a El Camino. I haven't done that but who am I to judge. That really is not my shit, that is how Magic Johnson got the HIV.


Danny, Dylan is playing the Greek theater. DVZ. October 11, 12. I have no money. But, lets go. Anyone else can go, yes that means YOU. In fact I am inviting YOU. See YOU there.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Keith and Rachel are listening to this

BTW I have two more movies in the works. NBD. I am gonna play General Custer in a historical documentary, no joke, and Mike just wrote a movie at the bar for me, it is called Little Brother, Big Heart. I play pilot who invents super gold and runs a youth program with my profits. Please friends all I want to do is make movies. We are all better looking than anyone else and we are all funnier than anyone else. Lets get famous and run the fucking world.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sorry I haven't blogged, I'm busy.

But here is a Sample of the movie. Sneak Preview so Don't show to many people.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Annie and Wiley

Do this

1. Get in your stupid car
2. Make a fort of blankets
3. Drive stupid car to New York
4. Park stupid car in front of the house you parked in front of before
5. Don't hang out with me, just make kissy faces in the car
6. be a extra in a this Bollywood film i am doing on sunday morning
7. Go home

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I wrote you a poem

Erotic City
Erotic City
All of my purple life
I've been looking for a dame
That would wanna be my wife
That was my intention main
If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time
Thoughts of pretty u and me, Erotic City come alive
We can fuck until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone
Erotic City can't u see, thoughts of pretty u and me
Everytime I comb my hair
Thoughts of u get in my eyes
U're a sinner, I don't care
I just want your creamy thighs
If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time
Thoughts of pretty u and me, Erotic City come alive
We can fuck until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone
Erotic City can't u see, thoughts of pretty u and me
All of my hang-ups r gone
How I wish u felt the same
We can fuck until the dawn ('Til the dawn) (Until the dawn)
How I wish u were my dame (Baby won't u call my name)
If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time
Thoughts of pretty u and me, Erotic City come alive
We can fuck until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone
Erotic City can't u see, thoughts of pretty u and me
Baby, u're so creamy
If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time
Thoughts of pretty u and me, Erotic City come alive
We can fuck until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone ('Til the dawn)
Erotic City can't u see, thoughts of pretty u and me
If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time (U and me)
Some time, some time, some time, Erotic City
If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time
Thoughts of pretty u and me, Erotic City come alive
We can fuck until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone (Come alive)
Erotic City can't u see, thoughts of pretty u and me
We can fuck until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone
Erotic City
Erotic City

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Yo, I found another piece to the puzzle. Kells and Mr. Biggs

This might be my favorite overall video of the saga, I think there are more out there. Stay posted.
Down Low (Nobody Has To Know) - R. Kelly;R. Kelly featuring Ronald and Ernie Isley

Dear, San Francisco

I will be back to you in no time. We will have a Dirty Martini with a shot of Fernet and a cold beer as a chaser. They don't even have Fernet in this fucking town, can you believe it. Ps Gordon I can't pay rent next month. But don't worry in 3 years I should get noticed and then I can pay you back. Click the photo to get the whole feel. This photo is to awesome for blogger.

This sucks......

I think I wanna be actor when I grow up. So I can be a star.

Two of my favorites
This is gonna happen to me tomorrow

Lets get sexy
Sorry, This is just Morgan and I

Actors Wanted

Must be able to smoke a pack of cigarettes while trying to film one scene.

Movies are all about "Hey, we need you, NOW! Alright stand here and wait"

It is fucking crazy, all I am doing is Smoking, Hurrying and waiting.

We took at least 50 takes of one scene in Max Fish, Chris and I had to have banter while the actress walked up to the counter. We only talked about people we knew, but made up stories. So Danny and Julie you guys broke up 12 times yesterday, julie flipped out and broke Danny's nose Emily got fired for selling cocaine out of the ice cream shop, Julie is a call girl, Danny shaved his balls and much more one of them is gonna be in the movie.

Best job in the fucking world.

Oh yeah they feed you.

Coffee and Cigarettes.

I need a diaper, shitting yourself on screen is not cool.


Monday, August 3, 2009

Ben, Sam Cooke said it best......

Your Mama is Rich
Your Daddy is Good Looking?
Did he say
Milk this cow the best way we know how?
Whatever he said I think it meant something about you being a sweetie pie

Paint it Black

Today I become a Man

I just got out of make up, they mad me look more like a real new yorker.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Mr. Biggs and Kells

This is the prequel to Contagious. This shit is the fire, my dude. Is R Kelly ghost writing this or is Ron Isley just that good.

Almost More important, we are filming a couple scenes at Max Fish tomorrow, if anyone knows ANYONE that would be interested in being a extra, let me know please. This really means ANYBODY, Ben your sister, Wiley any of your friends, Rory any of your famous friends, Peter, Devon, Nick, Riley just steal a car and come up. I will buy you one HJ for every extra you get to show up.

call your friends

They Miss you