Saturday, June 4, 2011

BART on Yelp

I needed to find out what time BART ran till. This supplied me with the answer I needed and maybe a little more:

-BART......... Bart, bart, bart.  You need to LISTEN right now and LISTEN GOOD.  Run past FREAKIN 12AM.  And I mean AT LEAST until like, 2:30 am.  I'm serious now.  Don't even begin to play wit me cuz ima take out mah hoops and fight chu.

Do you even KNOW how man car loads of club crashers drive over the Bay Bridge to hit up city spots?  And I'll tell you exactly what happens... Tina (generic condescending female who is pretending to be matronly and responsible to avoid her serious relationship issues in that she NEEDS a man, a real prince this time, and can't seem to find one) says, "Oh, I'll drive.  I promise, no worries... I'm super hung over from last night anyway (what, Tina, hung over from the lifetime reruns and Kleenex brand tissues with lotion to wipe away your tears of shame? No, you're right, it was probably those big plans you had... ha.)

THEN Tina texts her "BFF" dude who lives in another city just to see what's up (not like she hasn't been in love with him for 5 years after they roomed together in college or something) only to find that he's out on a date with some tramp from the marketing department at his mediocre job thats pays way less than Tina's though she pretends that she's jealous to make him feel like a real man...  And you know what, I bet he's taking the date to Applebees or some shit like that.  Probably for the two for one happy hour on cocktails and appetizers...... or something

Well WATCH HER!  Because there goes your DD.... Next thing you know she's demanding chardonnay at a DIVE bar because she's had enough and this is really going to be the time that she stops talking to him... And you're screwed.

SEE Bart?  THAT'S why you have to run past midnight.  Because those idiots think Tina can handle it as soon as she stops crying, and then they get in the car and DRIVE back across the damn bridge.

Well, fellow yelpers.  I think you can clearly see my thoughts on the good ol' Bay Area Rapid Transit, and you can agree with why I've given them only 4 stars, rather than 5.

1 comment:

James said...

ima take out mah hoops and fight chu.