I'm so sorry Brendan and Rachel, sorry for the late post, but congratulations!!! Your baby is sooooooooooo fucking cute. Really, I'm not joking, I didn't know babies could open their eyes and be that adorable at two days old. Which brings up what I really want to talk about: Billy Rosser's guide to Parenting........
1. As with anything, Fashion over Function.
Your baby is a Fashion statement, make that baby look good. A couple things to think about in baby fashion are: Does my baby smoke? Is my Baby a bad ass baby or a lame non fun baby? Does my baby want Tattoos or Piercings?
Babies are expensive, but they are also valuable. Don't sell that baby to the first person that offers you $20 and a ride to the border. Make baby, make money! Modeling, Acting, Running Numbers, etc, etc, etc.
3.Build the Baby's Tolerance to drugs and alcohol.
Remember no one wants to be a stay-at-home parent, so take that baby to the bar!!!!